i was the last one in kindergarten to bring in my phone number to have it put on a red construction paper telephone connected to the school with red yarn so embarrassing

 

summer 1988 and i am working as a house painter in south dakota and in south dakota there are more barns that need painting than houses that need painting so i am painting barns and one afternoon in my first month on the job i discover that i have been singing the oscar meyer weiner song to myself for the past 3 hours and i guess the barns are not really important to this anecdote

 

i have a fuchsia-colored beret that I bought in a used-clothing store in minneapolis in the late 1980s it is indeed the kind you find in a used-clothing store in minneapolis